A life lesson that everyone can learn, including myself…

On Saturday morning last weekend, Kansas City Chiefs’ inside linebacker Jovan Belcher took the life of his girlfriend after a domestic dispute. He then proceeded to drive to the Chiefs’ facility at Arrowhead Stadium, only to commit suicide in front of his own head coach Romeo Crennel and a few unfortunate teammates.

Belcher, a starter, had the best year of his career in 2011. He was seen as a hard-working, discipline football player who worked his way into the starting lineup despite his physical limitations. He had no character concerns or personality issues. Belcher would have never been mistaken for the most talented player on the field, but he was a good run defender, and he started in a linebacking core that I personally considered the 2nd best in the NFL.

The players on the team were asked to vote whether the Chiefs should hold the game in Arrowhead Stadium as scheduled the next day (at noon) or postpone it until Tuesday. I’ve been told right tackle Eric Winston, gave an inspirational speech that influenced those on the fence about this crucial decision. The Chiefs ended up defeating the Panthers the next day.

That’s the football side of this.

But there’s a lot more to the incident than most sports fans want to acknowledge.

For one, when I informed my roommate, Josh Gast, about what had happened on Saturday, the first thing that came out of his mouth was “Do you think the NFL is going to do something in the stadiums tomorrow?” It was a very interesting question, one that has two sides. On one hand, the NFL wants to acknowledge that one of its players has died. On the other hand, can the league really “pay respects” to someone who shot a woman and himself? Absolutely not.

The NFL, in a public relations crisis, responded by having each stadium hold a moment of silence for those “affected by domestic abuse.” This was a smart and safe gesture by the league.

But the league’s response doesn’t reveal the bigger issues:

Why did this happen? And how could it have been prevented?

…

Reporter Bob Costas didn’t hesitate to provide the world with his opinion on how the incident could have been prevented. In a two-minute segment at  halftime of the Sunday Night Football game, Costas talked about the shootings.

He opened by calling out Americans and sports fans for using one of (what he claimed) the worst cliches in sports: “this really puts things in perspective.” He claimed that if we need an incident like that to put sports into perspective, then we have no hope of perspective at all. He then went on to say that more and more suicides will occur in today’s society because guns are handed out so easily, so we might as well accept the facts. He closed by saying (paraphrasing) “the real reason they died isn’t because of a fight or a personality disorder. It was because he possessed a weapon.”

For those of you who watch “The Newsroom,” (and if you don’t, you should), you might have recognized the style of the narrative: it was very Newsroom-like.

Obviously, Costas has been slammed by conservatives in the media for using his segment to promote his opinion regarding gun-control. I’m not going to say whether I disagree or agree with the political issue. But I will say that he’s earned the right to have the segment. He’s an outstanding reporter. And he should be allowed to say whatever he wants to say on his segment, regardless of how opinionated it is.

So that’s one man’s opinion on how the incident could have been prevented.

…

But Chiefs quarterback Brady Quinn had other ideas. He expressed them in the post-game press conference.

Before I quote Quinn, I want to say that Quinn might not be the best quarterback. In fact, he’s one of the worst starters in the league today. But I have a newfound respect for him after these comments.

Quinn expressed his feelings:

“The one thing people can hopefully try to take away, I guess, is the relationships they have with people. I know when it happened, I was sitting and, in my head, thinking what I could have done differently.

When you ask someone how they are doing, do you really mean it? When you answer someone back how you are doing, are you really telling the truth?

We live in a society of social networks, with Twitter pages and Facebook, and that’s fine, but we have contact with our work associates, our family, our friends, and it seems like half the time we are more preoccupied with our phone and other things going on instead of the actual relationships that we have right in front of us. Hopefully, people can learn from this and try to actually help if someone is battling something deeper on the inside than what they are revealing on a day-to-day basis.”

Quinn digs deeper by shedding light on a subject that isn’t talked about enough in today’s society.

It’s very unlikely that too much cell-phone use by others directly caused Belcher and his girlfriend’s death. But Quinn’s message is pure: spending too much time on our mobile device not only takes away from our life, but it can affect others’ lives too.

“Let’s remember [what happened to Belcher] the next time — and every time — we’re more worried about interacting with someone who isn’t in the room than someone who is.”

Smile at somebody when you walk past them. Interact with the people around you before your classes. Introduce yourself to lonely strangers at parties. You never know how your words can affect someone. And you never know how your smile can uplift someone having a bad day.

Turn off your phones. Tune into life.

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Categories: NFL Feature Stories

Tags: belcher suicide, bob costas jovan belcher, brady quinn, Jovan Belcher, kansas city chiefs, life lesson